Exhausted!

This weekend I was lucky to be able to attend the annual leadership training held by my site for the youth leaders—there were about twenty of them in all, mostly late teens and some early twenties. Saturday afternoon, we packed up all the necessary items for camping and training—tents, pots and pans, food, computer, projector, playing cards, a Frisbee, a bottle of rum—and headed to the beach. Just kidding about the bottle of rum. Now you may think this is weird, but those of you who know me understand that sometimes there is nothing I would rather do than spend a weekend with a bunch of teenagers. Sound crazy? You don’t want to spend a lot of time with selfish, moody, sometimes smelly and annoying teenagers? When I worked at Washington JHS (shout out to all you guys!), I always had the chance to chaperone the dances—heck, sign me up! I really have so much fun with these things. I do not find teenagers to be annoying ever—sometimes moody and smelly, but never annoying. And we’re all selfish at some point, even more so as teenagers, so I understand.

We arrived at the venue—the beach!—and quickly got settled and set up. The training started promptly, and my main job was to observe and take lots of pictures. Check. The training was set up by my supervisor—the head social worker—and run mostly by her as well. Topics included discussing good and bad habits, doing a personality evaluation, energizers, team-building activities, and more. Of course, there was also time for eating, playing cards, watching a movie, and even a group exercise session early in the morning.

Now, from what I’ve heard about Philippine working culture, things are supposed to be slow, poorly planned, bureaucratic, etc. I was SO impressed with this training and how it was done. With that said, I don’t really feel like I am in the right place—everything was efficient, well-planned, on time, and sufficiently resourced. Watching my supervisor at her job is amazing—I know that I have much to learn about being the best social worker I can be, and this will be a great place for me to do it. She is fantastic at her job, always working, relates well to the kids, and is excellent at building relationships—with both kids and colleagues. I can say the same for my counterpart. They definitely both take their jobs seriously—and by serious, I mean that a main philosophy at work is that we need to laugh a lot, and laugh often. Before my dance performance last week (yes, I performed in the staff dance for a program…sorry! Forgot my camera!), I told them how I was a bit nervous because Americans are typically not performers, especially me. The response was, “Lynn, you shouldn’t be nervous…it’s just going to make you look old. Just laugh.” Alright, so I laughed through the dance about how silly I probably looked—all Filipinos and then me, tall and blonde and blue-eyed and uncoordinated.

Just a note about this “performer” thing. Filipinos, as part of their culture, are performers. Everyone has a talent—they sing, they dance. If you come here, expect to sing videoke…you don’t have to be good, but they’re pretty darn good. At parties here, the main thing to do is to sing or dance for the group. You may not have ever thought about it before, but Americans are not really performers. We typically like to blend in, or if we do like to stand out, we do it via what we’re wearing or what we talk about or how we carry ourselves. At American parties, depending on the atmosphere, we sit around and talk, play a game of cards or if we’re wild a board game, have some drinks, maybe dance in a group, listen to music, etc. Maybe the best and most unanswerable question I’ve gotten here so far (besides “So after you marry a Filipino, you can still be a Peace Corps volunteer, right?” or “So if you don’t want a man, then you want a woman?”…those were also pretty good) is, “What is your talent?” WHAT?!?! My talent??? Well, when I was in second, or maybe fourth grade, I performed a dance routine in our school talent show…it didn’t require try-outs, so it might not have been good. (But those purple skirts that Barb made for us were amazing!) Oh yes, then in fourth grade or so, my voice was so bad in church choir that the pianist stopped the music and said, “Who IS that?” And I can wiggle my ears. Oh yeah, I can dance a mad “bus driver” and “running man”. I’m pretty good at matching up socks after doing laundry. And alphabetizing things. And texting. And spelling. Those can be my talents, right? The fact that I have a voice that sounds like a man when I sing and a lisp that is amplified anytime it is recorded or goes through a microphone (at least I hope that’s amplification…if I actually sound like that, yikes…or should I say yikesth…) doesn’t help me in the singing department at the talent store. And the fact that I only laugh when I dance because I usually realize it looks ridiculous, unless I’ve had a few drinks (then I seem to think I’m pretty good), doesn’t help me in the dancing department. So, what is my talent? I don’t know, but if that isn’t an intimidating question, I don’t know what is!

Anyways, back to the training. Saturday night, I was given a tent to use but decided to forego tent usage so that I could wake up and look directly at the beach and sunrise and once again realize I’m in paradise. This, as it turned out, was a fantastic decision. Despite this fantastic decision however, I am pretty sure I only got about an hour of sleep. I went to bed around 1 AM, after learning a new Filipino card game and watching Armageddon with the kids (so cutely pronounced Ar-MAG-a-din by them). It turns out that next door to the beach we were at was a pretty happening night club (by pretty happening, I mean there could have been anywhere from three to two hundred people there…I’m not real sure), and the music was bumping until 3 AM. Normally, I wouldn’t complain about this, as I might be the one out that late enjoying the music. But, I was trying to sleep on a wooden bench that I just could not get comfortable on, and all I could hear was “Low” and a hip-hop mix to a Sublime song that was perfectly fine before they mixed it. After moving around quite a bit (my shoulders and arms fell asleep a few times), I finally got to sleep shortly after the music ended. About an hour later, at the ripe hour of 4 AM, I’m not sure what happened but some of the teens decided that it was a great time to wake up. Now, if American kids were at summer camp or something like this and they woke up at 4 AM and wandered about the grounds, the automatic suspicion by the adults would be that maybe they’re going to make out in the woods, smoke pot, or worse, steal a car, pick up all their friends, get drunk, and make babies. What did the kids at the training do? Of course they woke up early to start cleaning the room that we used the night before! What else? I was able to doze a bit after that, very lightly of course, but I woke up for good at 5:30 to a beautiful sunrise. I almost forgot where I was, until I sat up and looked to my left at the ocean and the sun just peeking up.

We finished the training on Sunday and enjoyed a nice big lunch—fish, chicken, and pork chops on the grill, tons of fresh mangoes, salad, and of course, rice. The kids were able to go swimming before we left, and I played a few great games of cards. I was so exhausted by the end of the day, but even more impressed with how everything was done! It left me more confused than ever, though, on what my job will be. My permanent site is, simply put, A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. They are progressive, resourceful, positive about the future. They have a great mission and they provide the best living environment that I’ve ever seen for children and youth in especially difficult circumstances (CYEDC), here in the Philippines and also in Guatemala and the US. These kids are definitely loved. I could not ask for a better place to learn, to give my time and energy, and to spend the next two years. But how can I, who yes has a pretty good depth of various work and volunteer experience for my age, but who also is really just a beginner at this whole thing called being a professional, really successfully “expand capacity”? Now, don’t get me wrong. I would MUCH rather be in this position, wondering what my job is going to be, than to be overwhelmed by all the gaps and places for improvement I see in a program. So basically, I’m in a good place…I just need to find out what is meant for me to do in this good place that I’m in.

After a long week, I was exhausted, as I’ve mentioned already. Today I had a much-needed day off! It was so great. First of all, Sunday nights are great because I usually get to talk to my family, which starts off the week just right. This morning, I slept in, ate a lovely breakfast of Corn Flakes and chocolate cake (give me a break, my pants don’t fit…need to tighten them up), and maginterneted for a while. With the help of my mom, I figured out how to use voice chat. For a while in my life, I felt technologically literate, but then when everything started to speed up, I got lost. Voice chat is a big deal for me. Then I took a nice hot shower (have I mentioned I have a hot water heater? Ahhhh, life).

I had heard of a dive shop that gives a forty percent discount to Peace Corps volunteers, so I found out where it was and kindly asked Mama and Papa how to get there. The jeepney system is easy to use once you figure it out and know which jeepneys to take where, but unfortunately, there is not a map that shows the routes of each jeepney, like there is for buses in the States. So figuring out how to get where you’re going can sometimes be a chore. They gave me excellent directions, but on the way to the changing point, it started to downpour and I thought maybe it’s a better idea to hang out in the mall instead, so that I can avoid trying to walk and find a place that I don’t quite know where it is in the pouring rain. I got to the mall, and since I didn’t eat lunch yet, but wasn’t really THAT hungry, decided that a nice American snack would do the trick, so I enjoyed some M&Ms. They were delicious, but they were made in Malaysia, which makes them not quite the same M&Ms as I would have at home. They’re definitely a treat though. By then, it had stopped raining, and I decided that if I don’t go today, I won’t have a chance until at least next week, and since I may go snorkeling this weekend, I want the gear. I grabbed a jeepney and got off on the end of the street that I needed to be, hoping to get some exercise by walking and knowing that I would have to pass it sometime. I was paying attention to the address numbers as I walked, even though they were posted sporadically. I figured, how could I miss it? Well, I got to a point where the road forked, and I didn’t quite know which way to go. I asked a security guard and a nice gentleman for directions, and they didn’t know where the place was, but they did know that this was technically the end of that street, which means that I had missed it somewhere. Luckily enough, barangay hall was kitty-corner, so they directed me to go there and ask. I went in and got directions to head back the way I came from, but to try the other side of the street. After walking a little ways, I got another one of those “Good afternoon, ma’am”s that I always get and usually ignore or answer with a sly “Maayong hapon” just to show them that I do actually care about learning their language, because most foreigners here do not. Instead of ignoring this one, though, I decided that I would ask this gentleman (who was a security guard) if I was going in the right direction. He said of course and gave me more specific directions. So I went off on my way and bam! Found it. I was pretty darn proud of myself, to be honest, having conducted all conversations in Cebuano and finding the place on my own. Man I love travelling and learning a new language.

The visit proved to be successful because I took advantage of the huge discount and got a pretty good mask, snorkel, and fin set for about $40 (US), which is a pretty darn good deal. Afterwards, I walked around a little bit exploring and then headed back to the mall, because I had a whole list of things to look for (I was given money for my birthday, and plus I am planning on cooking my family a Thanksgiving dinner this Thursday, so I had a hella lotta grocery shopping to do). I felt pretty darn successful because I found a pretty good webcam for about $18 (US) and then a nice weekend-size duffel bag for about $12.50 (US). The one that was really pretty with a nice tropical flower print (because of course aesthetics are important while travelling) was about $20, but me being pretty thrifty, sprung for the more basic yet stylish orange duffel with nice side pockets. These are crucial for holding a water bottle, dirty flip-flops, or a wet swimsuit. Overall, it was a great purchase. I met my sister at the mall, and we were about to have some bonding time! Well, I met her before I found the duffel, so she got to help me pick one out, and I’m sure she realized that when I am faced with a million options, I can’t make any decision at all. But she was great…and very patient!

Then, we hit the grocery store to buy ingredients for what will be hopefully the most expensive meal I will have here. Without really thinking about how much American food really costs, I spent the equivalent of my monthly food salary that I pay my host family. Good thing it’s only once a year! I’m planning on cooking my traditional Thanksgiving meal—spinach lasagna, steamed asparagus with garlic, garlic bread, and “chicken surprise” with rice (not technically part of my traditional Thanksgiving, but I can’t make dinner here and not have meat…and chicken surprise was the best thing I could think of!). Side note: Chicken surprise is a special treat that one of my good friends from Ireland and roommates in college, Lauren…her boyfriend, Joe, used to cook for us occasionally. Wow, that’s much easier to explain in Cebuano. Translated it would be: “Cooked the boyfriend of Lauren, my friend from college and Ireland”. I remember it being so delicious, and I always wanted to figure out how to make it, and now’s my chance! We shopped, and shopped, and shopped. Finally, it was decided that crescent rolls would need to be substituted with biscuit mix, and ricotta cheese will be substituted with cottage cheese. Roasted sweet red peppers will be substituted with regular red peppers. It was also decided that Campbell’s soup here is ridiculously expensive—ringing in at over $2.00 per can! I think at home it’s like $0.65 or something like that? I could be totally wrong, and if I am, PLEASE leave me a comment on here. I can’t quite remember the price. And for boneless chicken, I will need to wait until Wednesday because the meat counter was all out, and there’s really no way to get boneless at the market. All said and done, it was a great shopping trip.

Afterwards, my sister and I decided to do some walking around (suroy-suroy), and we stopped and grabbed dinner. Have I told you how much I love having sisters? When I was a little kid, I used to beg my mom for a sister! Oh, how I thought it would be so much fun to be able to braid each other’s hair and watch movies and never be bored. Well, now my wish is answered! I have two sisters and I love it. We can sit and talk about anything and just hang out. It’s so much fun! When all is said and done, maybe it’s much better that my sisters came in this form—I’m absolutely sure that I appreciate them much more now than I would have at seven years old, when I’m sure I would have been complaining about my annoying younger sister who always wants to play Barbies and who keeps picking her nose. So mom, thanks for not giving me a sister—it turned out much better this way.