Missoula Oddity

I just saw a group of students walking across campus carrying a dead skunk on a shovel. They also had a giant rope. I don't know. This would not happen in Wisconsin.

Moment of Clarity...sorta

Well, it's true - I actually have a vision for my professional project. It all came together tonight when talking to Becca. You are going to have to ask me to find out more information...I can't give out the secret too easily! But perhaps graduation is looming sooner than I expected...

Monday Schmonday

Well friends, life is still hectic. It's the second week of classes (comparable to the second week of deer camp, perhaps?)...and I am super stressed. Well, I feel a bit overwhelmed. I guess that doesn't equal stress, but either way, it's not a particularly great feeling. I usually try to get all my readings/assignments done the weekend before classes start...and it didn't start out that way this time. But, I think I begin every semester with this sort-of-overwhelmed-want-to-drop-out-of-school mood. I sure hope so, because it better go away!

This past weekend, I spent Saturday and Sunday at a cabin in St. Regis (about 1 1/2 hours northwest of Missoula) on a GUTS! retreat with seven other women. It was amazing, and the relaxation was much needed. The cabin was directly on the Clark-Fork river, where we watched a bald eagle sweep through a few times with fish in its mouth. The weekend was filled with professional development, strategic planning, and oh yeah, a much needed nap and good night of sleep. (I am still not sleeping at night! Boo!).

Anyways, let's see here...yes, that's about it...I am going to get back to reading. I apologize for this being a somber entry, but hey, I'm keeping it real.

I hope you all are fantastic and that you enjoyed your Monday today....February begins in 3 days...which means March is just 29 days after that....which is getting closer to spring and sun and warm weather....okay warm weather won't happen until May, but I can be optimistic. Good night and love.

Long Day, perhaps

Well, first day of class of my last semester of my first Master's degree is completed - now onto bigger and better things! Okay, slow down....just kidding. I did have a big day though. Since I was slapped with a $2850 fee last week for my Public Health courses, I spent much of the morning running around and trying to get those taken care of. I must say, the people at the University of Montana are definitely the nicest I have come across as far as trying to find an answer for a student. I got to go into back offices, meet some "higher-ups" (as they're called), and have a pseudo tourguide that accompanied me to all these offices to get the answers. Well, they found the answers for me! Then, I decided to un-accept my acceptance into the Certificate of Public Health program. Well, it was good they did the work, as they said I will definitely be used as an example in policy meetings. Apparently there are many more students who receive these ridiculous fees.

As for Public Health? Lynn never tries to put too much onto one plate, does she? She never overloads herself with work or begins something new before finishing the last thing, does she? Okay, I decided I need to give myself a break. I was getting overwhelmed with the prospect of having to take 6 more credits next semester before leaving for the Peace Corps/doing my internship/figuring out what I want to do with my life. So therefore, I am no longer a CPH student, but only an IYFD student. Ey-yey-yey.

I had class after all this and other things happened and definitely found myself unable to concentrate on anything anyone was saying. My eyes were fuzzy and not seeing straight. My nose was runny and stuffy at the same time. Not to mention that I have not gotten a good night of sleep in a week and a half! And I was thinking about my un-full needing-to-be-filled class schedule. I think I got it:

IYFD 595: Critical Issues in Helping
IYFD 502: Intercultural Aspects of Child Development II
PSYCH 494: Rural Psychology
SOC WRK 465: Social Work in a Global Context (SOCIAL WORK! I LOVE SOCIAL WORK!!!)
2 credits independent study? Missoula AIDS Council testing/counseling in combination with a research project on HIV Youth Prevention Programs
1 credit independent study - Spanish
1 credit professional project
PLUS I had 1 credit from the Addressing White Racism course

Hmmm...yes I know, it is not a lot. I may find that perhaps I will be bored. Then, volunteering more will call my name perhaps? Who knows?

Anyways, I love and miss you all, and I have really been thinking about Wisconsin lately because the weather here has been very similar! Yesterday, I woke up at 10 AM (yes, Happy MLK Day!) and the temperature was -9 degrees! By 11 AM, it rose 4 degrees to -5! Craziness...oh, Wisconsin. But alas, there was no wind...therefore it didn't seem too cold. Weather, schmeather...gnight all...

School?!?!?

So, school starts tomorrow. I can honestly say that I am not ready at all...and by at all, I mean I really do not want to go! Yes, yes, I know...this if from the girl who just loves school, who gushes over new notebooks and binders, and who just hates breaks. Well, that girl has changed. School, blech. But blech in a good way, I guess. Not in a hating way at all.

The past weekend has been really exciting. Wow, has it been this long??? It's been since, like, Wednesday since I've kept in touch. Last time I allowed a stint like that to happen, it was over a month! I'll try to stay on top of it this time. Thursday, Julia and I finished our Addressing White Racism class. It was fantastic. Well, learning that there is racism in our world was not fantastic (we already knew that though). But learning effective strategies to deal with that racism and form relationships turned out to be the fantastic part.

Thursday night allowed us to start our Thursday night Kettlehouse tradition again, which was so great. Friday was a bit stressful for me, which was hard because it was supposed to be the weekend before school started!!! I went to MAC on Friday for testing and performed three tests for people. It was that day that I realized that with the turn of the testing wand, I could really be changing that person's life forever. Wow, what stress. Knowing that I am essentially helping to educate though is what is really important. And I really enjoy the work that I do. That afternoon, I worked on my YWCA grant for about 2 1/2 hours...whoo! Just enough time so I could get home for an hour before doing movie night at the shelter on Friday night, which was also a bit stressful. I need to learn how to have a backbone!

On Saturday, a bunch of us headed to Joshua & Rick's house to make a gigantic brunch. We all thought we deserved it before school began again. It included pancakes, venison sausage, apple cinnamon waffles (made by yours truly), buckweat-blueberry pancakes, bacon, homemade apple cider syrup, etc. etc. It was amazing. We all ate so much that we had to take a food coma rest after lunch, before SLEDDING! Yes, that's right - sledding again! We headed out with our sleds to Joshua & Rick's backyard, which is essentially a mountain. Well, it is a mountain actually. The hill was very, very steep, with very fluffy snow, allowing us to each get a face full of snow on our way down the hill. Oh yeah, and the hill didn't technically end at the end of the hill, which may sounds confusing. The mountain kept going, and the end of the hill was marked by a barbed wire fence. The trick was the bail off the sled before reaching the fence. I had no problem with this, as I tended to bail way before reaching the bottom because there was usually so much snow in my face. It was darn cold! I had a headache, so I headed back a bit early while others attempted to build a snowman on top of the mountain.

That night, since I was feeling better, I joined some others in contra dancing. It's a bit like square dancing, with a caller and in an old dance hall. There was live music - folk? bluegrass? I'm not sure, as I typically know nothing about the music world. It was great fun, with the exception of my pounding headache that came back with all the spinning. It was definitely way out of my comfort zone, so I really had to push myself to get involved. All in all, it was a great time! I am a little less nervous about dancing now, so I guess that's a good thing.

Sunday brought the Packer game! In order to honor any sort of Packers-Sunday family traditions that I may have grown up with, I threw a Packers party and made chili with all the fixins. Friends brought over venison meat, which was actually a fantastic addition to my vegetarian chili recipe that I love so much. I also made cream of brocolli soup, which was fantastic. Appetizers followed in true Wisconsin tradition, with a cheese tray (some directly from Land O'Lakes - Thanks Grandma and Grandpa) and of course, Ritz crackers. Lindsay added to the Wisconsin theme by bringing Old Milwaukee beer, and others brought wonderful, wonderful items as well. It was too bad the Packers did not enjoy a victory, and that may go down as one of the most boring overtimes ever, but hey, there's always next year.

Anyways, school begins tomorrow - here are some pictures from sledding.

I did not feel the greatest!

Check out that view!

It was just so great watching everyone...

The view again...

Snowball fight!

So, how many people can we get on this toboggan?

The cohort is back!

Well, it turns out that now everyone from the cohort is back in town. I definitely didn't realize how much I missed everyone until we all got together tonight (well, almost all, sadly...) and couldn't stop talking! Lindsay made us a wonderful Indian dinner - I must say for my first time having Indian food, it was sure fantastic. I provided dessert...Keebler cookies. Yum, and how fancy! But, it sure is nice to have everyone back, and I think we're all realizing that it's our last semester together (and only our second...). So, we'll make the best of it!

Physically Ill: Institutional Racism

Before reading this, I am warning that this may be a controversial one. But it also is something that I think needs to be discussed - the institutional racism and oppression that exists within our society today, on a local, national, and global level. I began my Addressing White Racism course today (it's a wintersession course, so I'll be done in three days), and the reflection paper I wrote perhaps will stir dialogue. At least if the dialogue is out there, it's out there. There is an awareness, a call to change, a thought. So, I am sharing with you my first reflection paper from the course, which references both the Frank Jude case from Milwaukee a few years ago and the Chai Vang case from northern Wisconsin. I want to preface that I am by no means claiming anyone's guilt or innocence, but merely raising a question about racial and cultural lines and misunderstandings. I also think I could have written much much more, but hold your horses, ladies and gentlemen, it was only a 2-page reflection paper.

Reflection Paper #1:Physically Ill

As I read the two chapters written by Tatum tonight, there were several parts that I highlighted thinking, “I could definitely reflect on this” or “This is bringing up more thoughts”. Then, I read the few pages written by Derrick Jensen on police brutality and I found myself feeling nauseous and almost physically ill at the grim realities being presented in front of me. The dates of these incidents are not long ago—eight, ten, fourteen years at the most. It’s during my lifetime that others and I have been witnesses to such horrific acts of intentional hurt and violence, spurred on by the systematic oppression that affects us all.

I thought of two very recent occurrences in my home state of Wisconsin that had brought about dialogue and awareness, but still left many with the stings of institutional racism and no answers. The first was the case of Frank Jude, a bi-racial man that was severely beaten by off-duty police officers in a suburb of Milwaukee. Fortunately, Jude lived to tell his story and to see three of the four police officers be acquitted by an all-White jury, and then later indicted in federal court. The case was discussed both amongst my friends and in class—it seemed like it took over the entire city of Milwaukee. The fact that there was an all-White jury chosen from Milwaukee, the most diverse city in Wisconsin, in the year 2006 outraged most people I discussed the case with. The men, women, boys, and girls that Jensen brought names and faces to were much less fortunate than Frank Jude was. And what happened when those cases were brought to court?

The second case of blatant institutional racism and perhaps racial and cultural misunderstanding was when Chai Vang, a Hmong immigrant, was charged with six counts of murder after shooting six hunters in northern Wisconsin. While the jury did conclude that Mr. Vang was guilty, the jury that was chosen was also all-White and was brought in from diverse Madison, WI. Incredible racial undertones defined this case. I remember having the feeling of complete confusion and guilt when discussing it with others. While I was empathetic towards those families that had lost someone (one of the victims was a friend’s family member), I felt most of my empathy lying with Mr. Vang, who I believe was misunderstood and tormented because of his racial and cultural background from the beginning. Questions surfaced in my head about whether this would have happened had he been White. Would the hunting party have threatened him like they did, yelling racial epithets? Would the media have glorified it like they did, trying to create fear of the large Hmong communities within Wisconsin? Would Mr. Vang have been charged differently had the jury been mostly people of color? The questions still bother me, while Mr. Vang sits in prison for what I believe was a giant, giant cultural and racial misunderstanding.

These cases are what get at my heart. The people and victims that Jensen discusses brought tears to my eyes. Choked to death for playing football…Thrown from the roof of a housing project with handcuffs on…Beaten to death after having a seizure…Run over by a police car, backed over, and run over again…Shot for a DWB…Shot in the head while herding the family goats…Suffocated on fifteen yards of toilet paper. As I realized I was feeling numb prior to Jensen’s reading, I allowed myself to feel these feelings that were stirred up inside of me. The anger, the guilt, the frustration, the call to action, the empathy—it’s there, and it’s ready to be processed.

Sledding, Skiing, Snowshoeing

So, yesterday for my friend Jess's birthday, I attended her amazing and fantastic sledding party, which really brought out the child within me! It was great. We arrived at the hill with a variety of sleds - a few tubes, saucers, the torpedo, the snowboogie, etc. Which sled to choose first? Oh gosh, it was such a hard decision. My first run down the hill was on the snowboogie, which I may contest as the best sled ever. Later, it was great going down on my tummy on that sled. The scariest ride was definitely a double-up with Julia on the torpedo, where we crashed once on the way down and then again purposely at the bottom. We ended in a heap of bodies, laughing our butts off. At the end, we took one last run and headed for the car. Halfway, I discovered that my camera was still at the top of the hill. One last climb up that hill! Wow, it was good exercise! All in all, I can't wait to go sledding again!

This is after climbing the hill the last time to get my camera...exhausting!

Today, we headed to the Rattlesnake and I did some cross-country skiing, while Julia trekked on my snowshoes alongside. The trails were so icy that at one point, I really thought I would lose my life. I survived.

Garbage Bag Window

Just because the parking ticket was not enough today, another wonderfully lucky and fabulous event occurred tonight while I was doing Movie Night at the YWCA shelter. I drove a resident and her daughter to the movie theater, with the daughter in the backseat. The daughter must've been playing with the window, because when I returned to my car later the window was open about two inches. No big deal. So I turned the car up and hit the button to throw the window back up. No go. Tried going down. No go. Up again. No go. Down. Wham! The window not gradually, but loudly, slammed to the bottom of the door. Does the window go up? No. Does the window want to go up? Maybe. I can hear the gears grinding, but no, no, the window does not want to return to its proper position. Hence, when I came home, I had the pleasure of placing a garbage bag over my window. Since I am not an owner of good tape that won't rip the paint off my car (don't get me wrong...I love duct, but I'm skeptical of its strength), I now have a window that is covered by a garbage bag, anchored by bungee cords attached to the door handles. Nice. I have always been annoyed by people in garbage bag-covered windows. It drives me crazy. Grrrrr......and I don't think there's a Volkswagon dealership around here to fix it. Nice. Love it. Great day in Montana. Good omens. Good signs. Happy Lynn. Good night.

Two Dollars

Today I officially finished my training as an HIV-tester and counselor - yay! The most amusing thing about it was the surprise on my windshield after I did a test. I had plugged the meter for 40 minutes in the very large, metropolitan downtown area of Missoula. Well, since it actually took me 47 minutes to return to my car, and I am sure that the parking monitor was just sitting there and waiting for the meter to tick down to zero and for the "Time EXPIRED" red flag to pop up, I received my very first Missoula parking ticket. I actually laughed out loud, however, when I reached into the envelope and read that my fine was $2. TWO DOLLARS???? Wow. I am pretty sure the last parking ticket I paid in Milwaukee, well over three years ago, was $15-20. A fine of $15-20 would actually make sense for the city so they can make some revenue. Two dollars? That probably pays for only 10 minutes of the parking monitor's pay for the day. Where is the sense in that? Although I guess I can't really complain...I mean, two dollars is way better than paying way more. But, then I add on the money for the stamp, and that increases the fine by about 20% to $2.41. What is this world coming to?

Thanksgiving Photos

I also realized that I didn't post any pictures from Alison's visit over Thanksgiving. Silly, silly me. So, here goes:

Avalanche Lake in Glacier National Park


Glacier National Park

Alison taking some pictures

Flathead Lake

Sunset over the mountains, after climbing the M-trail

Autumn, Alison, and I after climbing the M-trail, overlooking Missoula

Candid

Hiking Boots

Aerial view of the University of Montana



I apologize for the "nudy" nature of this photo (there was no way to get around it), but I just had to show off the amazing bruise I gained from our M-trail hike, when I slipped on the ice and fell right onto a rock....good thing I didn't land with the rock any higher. I'm pretty sure it's the best bruise I've ever had!

Post-2008 Update

Well, I've probably neglected my blog and my blog-readers long enough. So, it's about time for an update! Apologies on the leave of absence...I was trying to figure out my life, which is still not done. But in reality, are any of us ever really done figuring out what we want to do, if what we're doing is right, what we should do? I guess we're all trying to figure it out.

I had an excellent time at home over Christmas...so much so that it was really difficult to come back to Missoula. Although I do really enjoy Missoula and the people I have met are all so fantastic, there's still a warm feeling in my heart for home. I was really fortunate to be able to spend so much of my time with family, which was great. I enjoyed every bit of it! So, thank you to all - friends, family, mentors, etc.

Many people have been asking how the train ride was from and to Missoula since I was so looking forward to it! Well, it was great. Well, half of it was great - the ride home to Wisconsin was nice, as I sat next to someone that was really nice and I was able to get a good night's sleep. On the ride back, I was surrounded by a few groups of young snowboarders heading out west on their big winter-break trips. Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for outdoor adventures and travelling with friends. However, most of the youngins were drinking the entire way and were not able to get through a sentence without using at least one swear word. I really should have done a research project on the whole situation. I did have to ask several of them to go to the lounge car if they were going to be obnoxious. Wow, that made me feel like an old bag! Oh well...I wasn't going to be too popular with them anyways. But, I sat mostly in the lounge car and got through one and a half books on the way. I bought The Glass Castle (recommended by Jenny and Tricia) and it was fantastic - I would recommend it to anyone.

Since I've been back, I have been trying to adjust to Missoula life again, which has been going alright. It's been nice to have a few days "off" before my Wintersession class begins next week - Addressing White Racism. It should be a good one.

Here are some pictures from my Wisconsin trip:

our Christmas tree

my dog, Derby

My new snowshoes!

me and Alison on New Year's Eve

Me, Alison, Kari, & Nicole ringing in the new year