An Unwarranted (and Unapologized for) Absence

To my dear readers – My absence as of late (okay, the last three months) was not fair to you, and I did not give you enough of a warning that you would no longer have entertaining reading material, no longer have an updated blog to check while you ate your breakfast, and no longer have a connection to my life right at your fingertips. No, I left all of those unspoken. My absence has meant that I have not written about many topics and events that deserve a spot on this page, but it also has meant that I have taken some time to just…finish. I have finished some projects – our girls camp, for one. I have finished my Master’s paper and finished my unofficial graduation ceremony. And most of all, I am preparing to finish my time here in the Philippines.

Right now, I am one day past our C.O.S. conference (Close of Service, or more appropriately, Continuation of Service) where I had the chance to see many of my batchmates for the last time. There are only fifty of us left out of the original sixty-nine that came to the Philippines two Augusts ago. I know you are doing the calculation in your head, so to make things easier for you…that is a 72.5 percentage rate of completion. From what I am told, it is significantly low for the Philippines but about on par with countries around the world. I am fortunate and proud to be part of the remaining group of Philippines Batch 267.

During the conference, we received a lot of practical information – resumes, networking, graduate school opportunities, federal job opportunities, etc. But we also had the opportunity to reflect on our time here in the Philippines and about what our service has meant to us and our communities. For me, this is the most important part. I tend to be a bit of an emotional person – I often get overwhelmed by feelings that seem much larger than myself. Preparing myself for the end of my service and also for what lies beyond is critical to, well to be honest, my sanity. My Master’s project helped significantly with this aspect. Because I actively took the opportunity to sit down one, two, or even three days a week for the last six months to focus solely on reflecting on my service—challenges, victories, observations, lessons—I am well ahead of the game on reflecting. But this does not mean it is over. One thing I struggle with is the fact that for me, awareness of an injustice in the world means that I also have a responsibility to fix that injustice. I am so fortunate to have this abiding pull to other humans and to “fixing” things that are wrong, but it is also a challenge beyond what many people can conceive or at least articulate. While it becomes a personal struggle, I would not give this passion up for anything. It is what makes me Lynn, and it is what keeps me going each day.

But back to COS conference. It was fantastic. I feel ready to bring a close to my service within the next three months, and while I might not be ready to say good-bye, I know it is time to move on. Peace Corps will be placing a new volunteer with my agency, which I am absolutely thrilled about. I have never come across such a small NGO with such a large impact, and the impact a PCV can have within the organization and the community is unlimited.

I will hopefully be writing more within the next two or three months, mainly to give you updates on what is going on and then to say a final good-bye. But forgive me if I am absent – I am one of those lucky PCVs who has a crazy schedule, and I would not trade it for anything.